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From Twitter 09-22-2009

  • 03:13:08: From Twitter 09-21-2009: 05:49:13: From Twitter 09-20-2009: 05:42:02: From Twitter 09-19-2009: 05:54:51: From Tw.. http://bit.ly/4SwWb
  • 08:37:49: @lucypaw Don't get eaten by a grue!
  • 08:38:57: @Bang2write I was just hoping someone would start my day with a truly gruesome mental image. Thanks. Cock salmon. FFS.
  • 08:40:45: @EdOtherwise What, by the tories?
  • 08:47:34: Dammit, I DID manage to destroy the wrong livejournal posts last night...
  • 08:51:37: @JoelRonson *applause!*
  • 08:53:46: @GaryDelaney And however bad you are, you're better than the last guy.
  • 09:02:30: @SaliWho (thumbs up)
  • 09:18:44: @jonnynexus Apparently, only if you tell the crim's mum.
  • 09:18:55: @jonnynexus sorry, victim's mum.
  • 10:01:27: @simonpegg Bigass, but decaff, since the restraining order. And no milk, gives me the squits.
  • 10:27:20: @Brownthorn As soon as they demonstrate that a child benefits from "full time" helicopter education, then they've got a basis to ask.
  • 10:28:17: @SaliWho It's a one show style trucker's gear change. #Radio4
  • 10:30:23: Question: is there any evidence that "full time education" is better for children than free range, do what you like when you?
  • 10:31:46: Question: is there any evidence that "full time education" is better for children than free range, do what you like when you like?
  • 10:33:30: @Glinner Are they the chuckle brothers?
  • 10:40:31: @SaliWho Is today's story Heart of Darkness read by Joe Pasquale? #Radio4
  • 10:45:51: @Brownthorn It's hot to be a girly swot. FFS. Because if there's one thing bullies listen to, it's governmental publicity campaigns.
  • 10:57:30: @EmmaK67 You and your fancy city ways.
  • 11:02:36: @jupitusphillip Only one way to sort this out....
  • 11:09:07: @jamesmoran wear an impressive hat. Important people always wear impressive hats.
  • 11:14:03: I may not be the next Sugarbabe, but I'm WELL IN to be the next Chas. Or possibly Dave.
  • 11:16:22: @bridd Which one's the lardy one at the joanna, which is the streak of p with a guitar?
  • 11:16:41: @alexispetridis oh, Welsh psychopath is he?
  • 11:18:44: @jupitusphillip That's enough of your sauce, young man #NotEvenFunnyWhenMyDadDidIt
  • 11:19:50: @IanAppleby Frankly, in any bloody way. Educational, emotional, social, psychological....
  • 11:24:46: @tweetminster Really? I Thought "strength and safety" were fascist values...
  • 11:55:20: In which I am a moron: Okay, this blog is now officially for Script Bashing; personal and HE posts will go .. http://bit.ly/gUWEK
  • 12:27:16: @SpeedyJR If our best argument for schools is that they keep fagins gang off the streets...
  • 13:18:53: @thegodofallbens If I call it a report, it makes me feel all pro-feshnyall loik. And less likely to say "BESTEST SCRIPT EVAH!" or "FAIL!"
  • 13:23:05: Arse. Didn't by my ticket for the Sugarbabes membership draw this week (with Chas and /or Dave bonus ball) h/t @michaellegge
  • 13:31:42: @AnneBillson Silliest criticism I've heard of BitSP: "But he wouldn't have been allowed that close to the wire!" Oh, must be shit then...
  • 13:32:11: @CUnderkoffler Pffft!
  • 13:39:20: @Firequacker I like my women like i like my coffee. Bitter and slightly off the boil. Wait. No.
  • 13:40:08: @MerseyMal He should ask whether they'd take in a one eyed, overweight Griffin that no-one wants...
  • 13:49:35: Listening to prez prado. Mamboing on the inside.
  • 13:51:06: @JoelRonson Oh mate, what?
  • 13:53:19: @JoelRonson Phew!
  • 13:54:00: @JoelRonson (showing how old I am, that I feel relieved when I have a dull lunch...)
  • 13:56:50: @JoelRonson Fair enough.
  • 13:58:21: Our tune: http://bit.ly/HJc3x
  • 14:00:04: @Bang2write only life coaching book I ever liked: http://bit.ly/10jhpV and then that fell apart when I heard the guy talk. Brooklyn nasal.
  • 14:04:15: @Bang2write Note to self: do not use the title of that book in script report EVER.
  • 14:43:55: Someone once described Fairport Convention as more of a movement than a band. Why not Sugababes?
  • 14:47:00: @dave_turner I didn't say it was a good movement. It is, lets face it a (steels himself)... brand.
  • 15:02:43: @AnneBillson Yeah. The best representation of the war years was 'Allo 'Allo.
  • 15:10:11: @AnneBillson I shall once again mention in passing how I dragged Vicki Michelle around a rehearsal room while she clung to my leg...
  • 15:24:17: @AnneBillson *boggle*
  • 15:37:22: @Bang2write not any more.
  • 15:38:29: @ruthiemossy I was constantly mistaken for a girl when very young. Now look at me. Jesus.
  • 15:42:01: @AnneBillson At the Wirral Show or on the front?
  • 15:43:47: @moviegrrl do tell, do tell...
  • 15:45:52: @moviegrrl I would not be at all surprised if he was....
  • 15:47:41: @moviegrrl Thinks: wonder if you know my other half's aunt... (a whole 4 years older than me)
  • 15:48:49: @AnneBillson Probably part of the front, and thus knocked down or "went on fire" for the insurance years ago. So you WIN!
  • 15:49:14: @AnneBillson Well, some of them haven't changed much...
  • 16:06:42: @Bang2write Being a druid, i don't hail Mary, but I can go to Stonehenge and hail stones #PossessedByGroucho
  • 16:11:07: @dave_turner You or the characters?
  • 21:07:17: @jodiekearns Can't "style" for size 12+? Then you're a shit stylist. In a ridiculous fucking hat.
  • 21:08:26: Odd, you'd think that someone who is a top stylist would take care not to wear get up that emphasizes his extreme git qualities when on TV
  • 21:09:01: @Firequacker Pah, Leyton Orient did them 6-1. Only let them have one cause we felt sorry for them.
  • 21:30:46: Anybody got a good merseybeat and /or liverpool music playlist for #spotify?
  • 21:37:48: @SteveDoherty1 It's never made them go broke before.
  • 21:57:31: Had it confirmed that I am one of AHEd delegation proposed to education select committee. Must teach self not to swear.
  • 22:04:34: @MerseyMal Brill, ta, will ask again tomorrow when more tweeps awake. #merseybeat
  • 22:08:09: @bridd @pendlewitch bricking it already. Not even had confirmation from select committee that we'll be called.
  • 22:09:11: @BinaryDad Lots of planets have a copious supply of uppers...
  • 22:15:15: @Glinner DAMN YOU! I have writing, and reports and... ah well, having it on in the background can't hurt....
  • 22:28:11: tweet off, head down, honest
  • 23:52:20: Sentimental old fool.: My partner will tell you, it can take very little in the way of sentimental media to get .. http://bit.ly/Y69ip

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Sentimental old fool.

My partner will tell you, it can take very little in the way of sentimental media to get me blubbing. Sometimes even a particularly well told joke, or perfect bit of plotting can bring a tear. Heck, I get misty at Inigo Montoya saying "I want my father back, you son of a bitch."

Which is as much to say, it wouldn't surprise those who know me when I nearly cried on a packed public train today over hearing a song on my mp3 player and thought "Oh, that would fit the funeral scene in Katz Curiosities perfectly."

The track was Yesterday by Paul Mcartney (yes I know it's a Beatles track, but none of the others are there). 100% mawkish sentiment. Smacked on top of a scene that only exists in my head and rough draft about a teenager losing her mum.

"Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say..." WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

And the projected budget in my head for this could probably afford Mike McGurk on a kazoo on the film soundtrack... so THAT'S not going to happen.

But it's perfect. SO it's in my head. So it's there when I write Katy Katz next time.

Hope some of it comes out in the writing.

PS: Working title now The Sorcerer's Soul. Apologies to Ron Edwards, but that's the logical title, because that's the mcguffin...


Just going through reposting the film / writing / acting stuff here, and some of the other stuff on Magpie's Nest.

So watch out for, over the next few days, an apparent flood of posts about old movies. But this is now going to be one of my shopfronts, so please bear with me.
Part one: FFS Zack.

1. Someone should take Slow-Mo away from Zack Snyder until he learns how to use it responsibly. Really, you could knock off half an hour of runnign time if you just stopped treating every action sequence as violence porn (or just plain old porn for the sex scenes).

2. We know it's A Significant Story, stop telling us. So much signposting. Much of it with Slow-mo. It's treating Watchmen like Shakespeare, and you know what else sucks when you treat it like this? Shakespeare. Really, Moore's plotting, characterisation and dialogue are strong enough to stand without the support of LOOK AT THIS tics.

3. "Rorshach and Comedian are sociopaths. We just kill, err, anyone who gets in our face." I don't remember that from the comic. Weakens Rorshach and Comedian by making Laurie and Dan just as psychotic. Oh, and Chain Guns on Archie? WTF?

4. "Hi, I'm Adrian Veidt, simpering Euro-trash" I know, Robert Redford isn't 35 any more, and Brad was tied up with Benjamin Button. But really.

5. "Gratuitous gore is TEH KEWL!" Watchmen needs quite a bit of gore already to be authentic. Bits of gangster on the ceiling? Not so much.

6. Moving my favourite bit of dialogue to a different pair of characters. "It all worked out, didn't it? In the End?" "Nothing ever ends, Adrian." Ah, sue me, they're MY nitpicks.

7. Crouching Night-Owl, Hidden Rorshach. IMHO, I think only Ozymandias should get to do the borderline inhuman physical stuff. Rorshach doing matrix jumps? Eww.

8. ... Heartless? I don't know if anyone coming to this film would care about anyone enough. Seemed oddly sterile for most of the time. Like a polybagged first edition of a rare comic. You see what I did there?

Part Two: Stuff that wasn't Zack's fault.

1. The guys behind me in the cinema. I don't know if you're stoned, psychotic or just extremely badly socialized geeks, but the appropriate response to any example of graphic violence is NOT a high pitched giggle. Maybe they weren't paying atttention to all the cues, but when the Big Blue Guy explodes the Little Asian Guys, he's not being a hero according to any definition I know.

Part Three: Stuff that worked

1. The Big Plot Change. Yeah, makes sense, more plot-economical

2. The rest of the casting. As near to note perfect as makes no odds. Probably why the freakishly awful casting of Ozymandias stands out.

3. Design, effects, and the whole visual shebang. Primarily because they were committed to not fecking up the excellence of Gibbons and Higgins design.

4. You see that big list of 8 things? None of them are a film killer, though the slow-mo and the lack of human connection come close at times

Just A Geek (repost)

(A response to this)

So, I went for a casting yesterday. Modelling job (I'm with the Ugly Model Agency).

Only instruction was "geeky".

Now, that covers a lot of ground. Corporate Geek? Comic book guy geek? Trekkie?

I went for corporate. The other guy I met there said he'd gone for "Open university math lecturer circa 1978", and hit it pretty squarely, I have to say.

Well, when I got there, the casting should have said "unattractive schlub", because that's what they are looking for.

(Incidentally, if folks want to hire me at reasonable rates to be an unattractive schlub, contact my agency. Seriously. I have no shame. Check my portfolio for proof.)

But the clients thought we'd be offended if they said unattractive schlub. They went to the UGLY model agency, and were worried they'd offend us. Folks, we signed that away when we joined.


But, but, but.

Apparently, it's okay to say "geek" and know that everyone should understand "unattractive schlub".

Geek is my tribe. We contain multitudes. We tend to be an inclusive bunch.

And some of us are seriously TEH HAWT. Hell, my brother is a pretty high up tools developer for Sony and a Wil Wheaton lookalike. How much HAWTer do you WANT, people?

basic script:"...The geeky guy flirts with her, she puts the book back, then takes out the product placement and finds hot guy..."

Please, when it gets made, make the hot guy dress geeky.

And, oh yes, if they want me, do you think I'll take the job? £250 a day, possible two days shooting, and no obvious "THIS MAN IS UNATTRACTIVE BECAUSE HE IS A GEEK" signposting? Like. A. Shot.

In which I am a moron

Okay, this blog is now officially for Script Bashing; personal and HE posts will go to Magpie's Nest... and while tidying the LJ last night, I deleted a shedload of posts by accident. I'll grab what I can from the Facebook feed and repost at MN, unless it's script related, in which case I'll repost here.

See, moron.


From my facebook thread:

I believe Simon's children are miserable hothoused prisoners of their home who are desperate to escape their father, and will probably end up broken drug addicts selling their bodies for cash due to being unable to properly form relationships after their claustrophobic upbringing.

And I have as much evidence as Simon does of his worries. So I demand that I be allowed to inspect him.

Also, note that Simon "works with children with special needs in inner London ". So I'm guessing that he works for, or at the very least hand in glove with, the LA.

And from twitter:

thatdebswoman: OMG, I've only read the first paragraph & already seething - who the fuck is this prick?

pete_darby: Someone who wants Ed Balls to hold him, as the auto's scare him.

bridd: he wants Balls' sweaty caress

pete_darby: There is nothing good or right about that sentence.

Villification and Harassment...

Now, this really does take the biscuit.

The Department of Continued and Sustained FAIL are threatening to take their ball away... no, it's even sillier than that.

They're trying to take their facts away.

They're linking the existence of the satirical Badman Blog to the work of those brilliant people working away at official figures to demonstrate that Badman produced his figures in a monumental act of auto-proctological statistics.*

And so, they are reviewing the provision of FoI requests in light of the possibility that they may be used to "defame or vilify" the authors of the review.

Yes, they are witholding facts in case those facts are used to portray the author of a review (that claimed that monitoring was necessary, despite their being no evidence, on the grounds that some authority figures have "issues" for which their is no factual basis) in somewhat of a bad light.

I take it then that it is now policy that you can defame and villify a whole class of people on the basis of hearsay and deliberately manipulated figures, but that it is unacceptable to use facts to challenge that vilification.

Oh I forgot... in order to defame and vilify a whole class of people, you have to be working for the DCSF. Silly me.

*(And to those who doubt that, I say that any man who has spent a good portion of his life teaching science who then takes an unrepresentative sample, extracts the median value and then multiplies it unweighted across the whole class to obtain an aggregate figure, is not being merely disingenuous but actively misleading. Either he is too mendacious to be trusted with the review or incompetent. You see, unlike Mr Badman, I tend to vilify and defame people solely on the basis of clear evidence of their actions.)

Tour de RPG's...

Okay, this post arose from some frustrations of mine on an RPG list, that spilled over onto twitter, resulting in at least one old-school roleplayer looking at what I was describing with incomprehension and horror...

So this is kind of a beginners guide to what's out in the wilds beyond emulating heroic fantasy* in RPG land...

Breaking the Ice , a game that provoked much derision on twitter, a two hander, no prep RPG of the first three dates of a relationship, playable in one evening... ideal as a first date, in fact!

Universalis is about the only truly "universal" rpg I've seen. Also GM less, creates an economy of story control to drive narrative.

Steal Away Jordan, a game where the PC's are slaves in ante-bellum southern USA. 

Grey Ranks , where PC's are young (think child-adolescent-young adult) participants in the doomed Polish uprising of 1944

Nicotine Girls Where PC's are dead-end girls.

From the same writer: My Life with Master, PC's are minions of a Gothic villain, struggling for love.

Dogs in the Vineyard  where PC's are religious enforcers in a thinly fictionalised late 19th century west, called on to make moral judgements of the people. And occasionally shoot them. And each other.

And the list wouldn't be complete without Sorcerer , the grandaddy of STORY NOW games; it looks like a conventional RPG in the White Wolf Vampire / Mage mold... but it suckers you. It's all about dysfunctional relationships, and how much of an unspeakable sh*t your PC is prepared to become to get what they want... and what that makes them. Fantasy, yes. Heroic... only on it's own terms.

Next time: more conventional, but kick ass games.

*In this case fantasy being any kind of adventure fiction simulator, be it D&D, Traveller, RuneQuest, Shadowrun... regardless of presence of magic, Dwarves, Elves and Capital Letters